Worry == Care

If there’s one thing I try to tell myself, it’s that if I’m worried about how I come out of where I am, it’s because I care about that result, it has meaning to me if no-one else. 

I worry about if I’ll be able to make games but not because I think it’s some impossible task, I’ve made several games over the period of a couple months. If anything I’m barely into my journey as a game developer or a game designer, but from what I’ve done I know what would have to be done to make a game. I know that I’d have to sit down and really think about how a system would be put together, and I appreciate how many times I may have to tweak, adjust, remove, re-add and test that design. I know I’d have to sit down and think about how that translates to a certain coding language, and I know how easy I can make that on myself or how hard it might be depending on a variety of things. I worry if I can make a game, but I know (maybe not fully appreciate) what goes into one.

It’s also easy to look around and see just a huge gap between myself and other devs on Twitter, how they put in the work and the time and I feel like I’ve little to spare. It’s easy to look at those who are doing  more and see the progress they’ve made and think it’s unattainable, but I know it isn’t. I’ve seen the progress a few months of trying has made on my own skills, I’ve seen what I’d do and try to push those skills, and I know that I’ll think of more fun things to do that may or may not help myself, my skills, my name, or my brand.

I know how to make a game, and I know that the more senior peers I see around me on Twitter have nothing over me other than more hours of working on their craft, something anyone can obtain. I started out by saying if I worry it’s because I care about the outcome and I try desperately to use that to my advantage. I’m worried about making a game, I know how to do it, but I worry that it’ll fail, it won’t be fun, it won’t even appear as a footnote on someones game library. I care that those people have fun, that those people can play something and enjoy it, and that I may even get to provide further enjoyment to those peoples lives.

If you’re like me and you worry about if you’ll be able to do any of this going forward, remind yourself that worry is just realising that you care, that you want to do it but you just want to do it well. Let that push you to find those extra hours to code or draw or design, start to perceive challenges as just learning opportunities so that next time you can breeze through it – hell I can probably code a retro game over a weekend let alone a month.

Re-purpose your worry into a realisation that you want to do well, you want to succeed, and we all do, it’s okay to be selfish in that regard and say you want to achieve this dream. So re-purpose that worry, and see every blockade as a lesson, it may be uncomfortable but you never learn anything new dealing with what’s comfortable and familiar.

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